May Sweeps Round-Up

From April 24^th to May 21^st the networks battled one another for supremacy during the May "sweeps."  Ad rates are set during "sweeps" periods based on viewership, so these periods are usually characterized by outrageous stunts, high-wattage guest stars, weddings, births, deaths, and cliffhangers – all in an effort to boost series ratings.  During this past May sweeps period however, the networks went further than ever before with envelope-pushing plotlines that didn't just surprise, they sickened us.

Following is a round-up of the most offensive and unnecessary content aired during the May 2003 sweeps.  Do the networks really think anyone needs to see this kind of material?  Apparently nothing is taboo if there's a good chance it will attract viewers.  

• C.S.I. –A waitress is seen giving oral sex to a comedian. She later explains to the cops that he likes a "hum and coke" before going on stage. She is shown in a flashback opening his pants and putting cocaine on her finger in preparation for putting it on his penis before performing oral sex on him. (CBS, 4/24/03 9:00 p.m. EST)

• C.S.I. Miami- An entire episode about spring break in Miami; a camera crew is filming a video of girls engaging in outrageous and reckless behavior. A girl dies from alcohol poisoning and is found lying on the beach. A flashback shows one of the camera men unzipping his pants to have sex with the corpse.  He later confesses to the crime, but justifies his behavior by saying that he didn't know she was dead, he thought she was just passed-out. (CBS, 4/28/03 10:00 p.m. EST)

• My Wife and Kids- Regularly a PTC favorite ran an entire episode about the teenage daughter's announcement that she is ready to have sex. Her father tries to discourage her boyfriend by saying that you can be injured during early sex. The boyfriend then explains that he has been practicing and demonstrates some of the moves he's been practicing for the father's benefit.  (ABC, 5/7/03 8:00 p.m. EST)

• The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer- Ellen marries a wealthy sex fiend who persuades her to engage in a threesome with another woman. Later he ties her hands and feet to a bed with rope and drips ice on her bare breasts while she writhes in ecstasy. They are later shown kissing and she asks him to kiss her "lower", he then moves down, out of the picture, insinuating that he is performing oral sex on her. (ABC, 5/12/03 9:00 p.m. EST)

• NPYD Blue- Clark and a woman are shown kissing passionately, they take each other's shirts off; he pulls her thong off from under her skirt. They have sex against the wall while he holds her up, her legs wrapped around him. Their bare buttocks are shown and they have sex on the bed, her stomach-down and he on top of her. One of the most graphic sex scenes ever shown on Blue. (ABC, 5/13/03 10:00 p.m. EST)

• Girlfriends- William is standing in the kitchen completely naked, his bare buttocks are pixilated. He turns around, exposing his (pixilated) genitals. (UPN, 5/19/03 9:00 p.m. EST)

• America's Next Top Model- The contestants are shown getting Brazilian bikini waxes. One girl is shown lying on a table with her hands covering her crotch while the waxer is seen and heard ripping off a strip of wax. Another girl is shown with her spread legs in the air, while the bikini waxer works between her buttocks, on her crotch area. (UPN, 5/20/03 9:00 p.m. EST)

•  Will and Grace- Karen says, "I'd like you to eat me." (NBC, 5/8/03 9:00 p.m. EST)

• Friends- An episode subplot about Chandler's difficulty masturbating in the doctor's office before his fertility test. Chandler and Monica accuse each other of masturbating in various places, including a parked car behind Taco Bell, and on a class field trip to the Hershey factory. There is a reference to Monica's vaginal exam. (NBC, 5/1/03 8:00 p.m. EST)

• Fear Factor- Contestants have to milk goats with their mouths. They are shown leaning over; preparing to put their mouths around the goats' teats and later sucking sounds are heard.  (NBC, 4/28/03 8:00 p.m. EST)

• Candid Camera- A man named Dick introduces himself to another man. They use "Dick" excessively in conversation, referring to his name, but also as a double entendre. (ITV, 5/21/03 8:00 p.m. EST)

• Cops- Filmed at Mardi Gras, women are shown kissing each other, fighting, drinking, and flashing their breasts. Some women are wearing only body paint to cover themselves. A man is shown sexually harassing a woman. (Fox, 5/10/03 8:00 p.m. EST)

STATISTICAL BREAK-DOWN

Some single outstanding facts:

• Number of references to necrophilia- 2: both on CBS

• Number of references to pedophilia- 2: 1 on CBS, 1 on UPN

• Foul Language used- "Eat me"- 1: on NBC