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American Dad on Fox

In the promo for the holiday episode of American Dad, the announcer states, “Joy to the World?  Not gonna happen here.”  Honestly, would anyone expect anything less from Fox?  When it comes to the true meaning of Christmas, Seth MacFarlane would be the last person to call.  But it’s one thing to secularize the holiday; it’s another matter entirely to deliberately offend the people that celebrate it and demean their religious beliefs, which is exactly what the episode did.  For strong sexual situations, extreme violence, and offensive religious content American Dad has been named worst Worst TV Show of the Week.

It is Christmas morning at the Smith household, and Stan hurries the family to get to church on time.  But when he sees what Francine is wearing (a modest pink dress), he chides her: “I can’t take you to God’s house like that. I can see your calves.  You look like a two-dollar whore.”  Roger, on the other hand, looks like he just stepped off the set of Little House on the Prairie.  Stan compliments him: “See, at least Roger shows the proper respect for this holiest of days.”

Roger replies, “Oh, I love your religion for the crazy.  Virgin birth, water into wine…it’s like Harry Potter -- but it causes genocide and bad folk music.” 

Once Stan pulls into the parking lot, he’s upset by all the “fair-weather Christians who only show up on Christmas and Easter.”

Roger quips, “I hope I haven’t missed the part where the three Chinese guys give perfume to the star baby.  It’s like the diaries of a madman.”

Stan can’t find a seat inside the church, so what do he and Francine do?  What else?  They have sex inside the janitor’s closet.  (Don’t even bother trying to comprehend how this makes any sense at all).  Apparently, nothing makes Francine more randy than a standing-room-only religious service. 

“Francine, we can’t do this in the house of the Lord,” Stan points out, “This is wrong.”

Francine coos, “Then I’ve been naughty and you’ll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking.”

“Damn your clumsy Christmas-sex metaphors,” Stan utters as he lunges at Francine.

When Stan and Francine finish their session in the closet, they discover that the church is empty.  They’ve missed the Rapture and longingly watch everyone else ascend, naked, toward heaven.  But Roger is looking at something else:  “Oh my God,” he shouts, “the homeless guy from the bus station is hung!  But I knew that.”

Eventually, Jesus returns to earth to wage Armageddon against the Anti-Christ’s demon-army.  Stan corners Jesus at one of his events and begs to be Raptured, blaming Francine for the whole “sex in church” thing.  He pleads, “Don’t let HER moral failings screw ME out of Paradise!”  Enraged that Stan would so willingly abandon her, Francine leaves him.  She quickly meets a charming man at a nearby coffee shop.  Meanwhile, Jesus escorts Stan to a back alley, where he tells Stan to undress.  Stan is under the impression that his clothes would fall off magically when he is Raptured.  When Jesus drops his trousers and exposes his genitalia, Stan realizes that the guy isn’t really Jesus.  The real Jesus is hitting on Francine at the coffee shop and asking her to be his girlfriend.

Flashforward seven years.  The world is a post-apocalyptic wasteland.  Jesus needs Stan’s help to save Francine, who has been captured by the Anti-Christ.  In this sequence, Jesus has been reduced to a pun-uttering, B-movie action hero who violently kills demons with deadly-sharp crucifixes.

While the other broadcast networks at least attempt to program family-friendly fare that explores the true meaning of Christmas, Fox seems hell-bent on demeaning Christmas.  In fact, American Dad has made a "tradition" of skewering the holidays with past Christmas episodes that involve killing Jane Fonda and a "Christmas rapist."  For continually trashing religious beliefs through vulgar, sexual and violent content American Dad definitely deserves to be named Worst TV Show of the Week.

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